Our society is such that immediately two people marry, the next thing we want to see is a wife with a baby bump. We get so expectant of a child from the newly weds that we forget it is not our choice to make; whether a baby comes immediately or not.
This societal expectancy goes on in our churches, our homes and our work places. So much so that we don’t waste time constantly asking the married couple when they will give birth. Forgetting how that should not be our focus to keep. Not every married couple is looking to have children.
It takes a village to raise a child but when that village puts pressure on the married couple, it becomes problematic. It generates an uncomfortable atmosphere for the couple who may have taken their decision already. Childlessness contradicts what we know about the way things are supposed to be.
When couples experience childlessness, there are tons of things they deal with. Couples who have a challenge giving birth experience the longing to be a parent. They are forced to act okay in public while they silently hurt in their homes. Many couples who are experiencing childlessness often endure that in silence.
They may keep up appearance for the public but deep down they fight the inaudible struggles of childlessness. Deep down they shed silent tears amidst their prayers to God. The enemy desires to see us clad in shame and misfortune; to see us doubt the faithfulness of God. But God’s voice to us, God’s vision for us, and his presence with us is deeper and truer than any shame we might experience in the midst of our struggles.
So next time you want to ask a couple when they are giving birth, be measured in your words. Don’t add to their struggles. Pray for them. Ask God to bless them and wish them well. For married couples who do not have a child or children of your own, take care of other people's children, adopt a child if you can and don’t grow weary waiting for God’s visitation.
I
pray for every couple going through childlessness, that God will show you mercy
and favour. I pray for a release of the fruits of the womb. May heaven smile on
you and be gracious to you.
BERNARD ELBERNARD
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