QUESTIONS & ANSWERS ON DATING AND COURTSHIP

Ques: I visited my boyfriend in his home and I met a lady and 3 friends the first day, the second day I met this same lady with his friends and the third time I met this same lady. I asked him about the lady and he will always tell me she is her sister. In December my boyfriend got married to the same lady she used to call her sister. What should I do?

Ans: God has delivered you from a traitor! Anybody that tell lies can easily kill. But make sure you will heal fast so that God can bring another person in your life.

Ques: I am dating a guy that I am older than but this guy has all the qualities that I want in a man. But my worry is the age factor because I am 5 years older than.

Ans: 5 years is not wide because the French president is married to her class teacher and they are happily married. The only thing I will add to it is submission: I know many ladies who have submitted to their husband though they are older than them. The only thing is you can’t marry someone who is your father’s type.

Ques: Please I was dating a guy and whenever he visited, he will always tell me to prepare fried plantain and pepper for him but when he is leaving, he won’t give any money so I decided to break up with him because he wasn’t helping. Please is a good decision?

Ans: When you are in courtship, you don’t cook for a man, you don’t wash for a man, you don’t sleep in a man’s house, and you don’t clean for a man. When you do that he will take advantage of you. If you use your money to take care of a man, he won’t respect you and he won’t marry you.

Ques: Please in your earlier talk you said we should make a marriage choice by character but when you are in courtship, how will you know the character of the person?

Ans: In courtship you go through counselling, preparing to get married. Yes is true you won’t see some of his habit or attitude but be vigilante and monitor this guy very well.

Ques: Papa let’s say I met this young godly man that I really like but family too want a certain type of man for me…what should I do?

Ans: Parents don’t make choices for their children. They guide and provide leadership for their children. So parent should allow their children to make their choice. Parents can only guide them along the way.

Ques: There is a man who proposed to me that he wants to marry me, we have been courting for a long time so one day I told him whether he wants to marry me but he said where he lives is bad and things are not working for him although I have already told he can come and live with me but he refused. What should I do?

Ans: You see God has planted in every man what we call ego. Three letter word as you see it but it’s dangerous. The ego is preventing him from coming to stay with you. There are two things you can do:

Let’s pray that things will work out for him well so that he can get money for the wedding. Let him understand that you are her helper so he should come and live with you and start from a humble beginning and things will get better with time.

Ques: Talking about love, I want to ask that the love we have for God, is it the same love we have for our spouse?

Ans: When we talk about love, the greek word divide it into 8 types; the love we have for God is called Agape- the unconditional love of God. This love is different from Eros love (marriage love).

Ques: Does maturity counts in relationship?

Ans: Without maturity relationship can collapse. I am not talking about age because someone can be young and mature, another can be old and immature. We can develop maturity in many ways. Wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and insight- these are the four pillars that grooms a person.

Ques: (Robert) I was dating a lady for about 2 months now; she confess that she loves me just like the way I love her. I notice a change in her communication and confronted her about it and she told me there is this friend who propose to her and she likes both her friend and me. What should I do about it?

Ans: Robert, run for your life. A double minded person can’t receive anything from the Lord. Reconsider the relationship because marriage is for life until death do us part. Think about it.

Ques: please when you legally wed a lady can’t you break up with her?

Ans: You can break up with her when she commit adultery according to the bible. So no matter the character whether lazy, thief, dirty or witch, you will marry the person for life.

Ques: I was dating a guy that I met abroad. He told me he wants to sleep with me first but I told him to put a ring on my finger first but he confessed that a lot of ladies have cheated on him because they taught he is impotent. So finally I agree and slept with him. After living for a year we began to have issues in the marriage but I still love him…What should I do?

Ans: The problem is as a result of the premarital sex. Once you had sex before marriage, God separate himself from you and this separation exposes you to all forms of attacks. The love you have developed for him is called soul tie and we have to break it.

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Inspired by the counseling of Dr. Kofi Oduro

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